From the time you start seriously dating someone the questions start to pour in. When are you going to get married? When are you going to have a baby? When are you going to have another baby? Are you going to try for a girl/boy? Are those all yours (if you have more than two)? Sounds familiar, right. In conversations with girl friends lately it seems that the only time you don’t have someone asking those questions is when you have a boy and a girl. It’s like then you have reached “perfect family” status. No one means any harm. We are all just curious by nature and we find those questions as normal ice breaker questions when we can’t think of anything else to say. I’m guilty as much as the next person.
The one question that I think stings more than others is when you are struggling with infertility and everyone wants to know when that first baby is going to be announced. Again, no one means any harm at all. It’s just a question. Then why does it hurt so much? For me I think it felt like everyone was screaming at me “what are you waiting for?” I felt like I was doing something wrong. Like I wasn’t living up to expectations to start producing the next generation. This never came from parents, or anyone else for that matter, and I never really got offended because I knew people had no idea what I was going through. So I couldn’t really hold them at fault. Did that mean it didn’t hurt at times? Of course not. But it did mean that I listened to lies that Satan was whispering that I wasn’t measuring up. It had nothing to do with those outside questions, but everything to do with the inside whispers that it was all my fault.
It’s obvious through our Adoption Journey what we were waiting for – the perfect child for us that only God could orchestrate. And now we fast forward to the present and our son is three and a half years old and the burning question seems to be “are you going to adopt again?” Legitimate question and I take it only as a positive that others would love to see us adopt again. We may even love to see us adopt again. So what are we waiting for? I actually love answering this question now because it gives me the chance to say one word - God. We are happy with our family and at the moment the answer to our prayers is the word “wait.” It is repeated over and over to me with no other explanation from Him. And that’s all I need. I’ve seen the results of waiting and I know that it produces something far greater than I could ever think that “I” want.
We love adoption and orphan care. We love being advocates. We love supporting others going through this process. Right now it is our turn to wait on Him to guide us into our next steps whatever that may be. There are many directions we are praying over at the moment. Some involve actually adopting, while others involve the many other avenues of adoption like birth mother support. We pray and we wait. And it is in those moments that we know He will whisper the plans He has for us.