There are those in the adoption world that I like to call the "unsung heroes." They give of themselves in the most courageous and selfless of ways. They do what most can't or won't ever have to do. They put others above their own feelings or wants. They are often the forgotten among the happy unions of a precious baby and their new family. They are birth moms. This blog is dedicated to Chloe - Ethan's birth mom. I hope the following words leave you all with a fresh perspective and a new picture of true love for a child.
What do you think of when you hear the word birth mom? If you are completely honest with yourself you would say “irresponsible.” You think of a young woman who had an unplanned pregnancy. And while it may be true that their pregnancy is unplanned, it is beyond unfair of us to judge them. We don’t know their circumstances. All we know and all that matters is that they are now faced with a difficult decision. They have already made the single most important decision – to give their child life and continue God’s plan for that life. And after they have chosen life for their child, they are then faced with possibly the single most difficult decision they will ever have to make – raise their child or place for adoption. Many chose the most selfless of acts – placing their baby for adoption. They love their child so much, that they place him/her in the care of another family to nurture and provide what they at the time cannot. Most don't come to this decision easily and it is certainly not taken lightly. And with it will come emotions that will surround them for the rest of their lives.
These women make me think Jochebed, who was the birth mother of Moses in the Bible. I cannot imagine the pain she felt when she put baby Moses in the basket – not knowing what would happen but having complete faith in God that Moses would be rescued and cared for by another family. We don’t know much about Jochebed, but we have to know that it was the most courageous of acts that a mother could ever make. And though her circumstances were far different from women of today, her feelings were not. In those moments – when a baby is placed in the arms of another woman – they share the same grief.
Many of us are touched in some way by an adoption story. We are excited about our friends adopting and becoming parents for the first time, or even becoming grandparents for the first time. And what a wonderful celebration it should be! My challenge to you is to also pray for those “unsung heroes” and the pain they are feeling. Don’t forget about them. Don’t forget to realize the true act of bravery and selflessness they have gone through. Don’t forget those who gave up being grandparents for someone else to fill that role.
Thank you Chloe and the many other birth mothers that I am honored to call friends for your continued inspiration in my life and the lives of so many others. Thank you for showing the world what a picture of a brave, selfless, loving woman should look like. Thank you for being an advocate and such strong role models for others faced with the same decisions you once were. You made the ultimate sacrifices and couples the chance to become families. You are my “unsung heroes.”