I "met" Bridget just a few short months back through social media and our mutual friend, Ashley Mitchell. And let me tell you, she is one of the strongest women I know. Not only is she kicking butt and taking names in several competitive races, but she recently connected with her daughter after 37 years of being apart. Bridget placed her daughter for adoption around the same time that I was born. I look up to and admire her not only as a woman, but as a mother and birthmother. In talking to my own mom about the culture of those times, I can't understand it but can empathize even more. Pregnancy, even in a marriage, wasn't discussed. So you sure didn't talk about adoption. Everything was closed. It was a world filled with secrets. Many women my mother's age, like Bridget, placed children for adoption and there were no options for an open adoption at that time. Literally thousands of women will likely never reconnect with their biological children - either by choice or because of the generation in which the adoption occurred. Bridget's story has a happy ending though as she just reunited with her biological daughter this past year. Please join me in welcoming her to Our Not So Engineered Life today and be sure to read her full story below. She is an amazing woman and I'm so blessed to have her as a dear friend.
My story starts in 1977 in a little rural town in Northern N.Y. State. At 17 I found self pregnant and alone. You see my boyfriend was military and he dropped me when I was about 6 months pregnant. Last I ever heard from him was when I was 8 months along. His words to me were "you and the baby could die in labor...I don't care."
I came from a very dysfunctional family. My father was an alcoholic. And my mother spent the last two months of my pregnancy in a mental hospital. My dad was bound and determined I was not keeping the baby. So he had two months to work on me with the help of my caseworker. My mom came home two days before I had her. I left her at the hospital. But I wanted her so bad.
Finally my father gave in, and I went and got her. The first words out of my father's mouth when I walked through the door with her were " you have two weeks to get out of my house". It was in the dead if the winter and I had no place to go. For two days and two nights I listened to my parents scream and fight. I was called all kinds of horrible names. And my mom threatened suicide. So after two days I knew I could not raise a baby in that house and I had no where to go. I knew I was defeated, so against my heart I let her go.
Left without options, I signed the papers and placed my baby girl for adoption, knowing that I would never see or know anything about her.You see open adoption was never heard of in 1978. There were no choices. No hope. Just years of hurt - until I found her in October 7, 2013.
Becky from Help Us Adopt came into my life in 2010. Fast forward three more years to October 2013 when Becky told my story to a friend. Little did I know her friend was a search angel! We spoke on the phone and a week later, I was standing in a parking lot hugging my daughter. She was only 50 minutes away from me the entire time!
Bridget now has a growing relationship with her daughter and is a huge support for other birthmoms.
What a better way to celebrate love in February than to feature some women we love and admire so much... Birth Moms! We had the privilege of spotlighting some truly amazing women whose stories have truly had an impact on our lives in great ways!