Ready to be a Big Girl

Now is the perfect time to contemplate this word... new. This simple word brings with it so much promise, so much hope, so much future.  My dear friend, Christen, and amazing writer,  just posed a question that I haven't been able to shake.  She said "What has been the most significant year of your life and why?"  As I go into my birthday weekend, I have the chance to reflect on so much that has happened and changed in just this past year alone and it causes me to look forward to this next one with so much anticipation. I've spent the last couple days thinking about her question and though I have had some pretty significant years that changed the course of my life, I am honestly anticipating this next year being the most significant one for me thus far.  

God is working on my heart like never before and I now know, with charity, what he is asking of me. I thought I was feeling a calling to go to seminary, but after much prayer I realized that was me, yet again, trying to put God and his plans into a well-defined and labeled box.  He has since made himself very clear that I was misinterpreting what he was asking of me.  He's not asking for a few years in seminary followed by a new career path; he's not asking for the engineer to detail a new life plan; he's asking for something much more fundamental than that. He is very clearly asking for my total and complete surrender. And I'm ready... as ready as I'm going to be. Just like my little girl who just broke her paci habit because she was ready to be a big girl, I am ready too. I know I will have some growing pains of selfish habits to break, but I'm excited, so excited, to see what he has in store. So as I begin this new year, I am looking forward, with much anticipation, to being totally and completely his. To be willing to do whatever he is asking of me. To focus on going into every single day and every moment with a prayerful heart filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit. To trust him to guide me through each day, both the exciting ones and the ones filled with dusting, mopping and endless piles of laundry, so that I don't miss an opportunity to praise him, to bless someone else, to be used. I know I'm going to mess up along the way and have days that I lose focus, but I am confident that if this is what he is asking from me, then he will help me stay focused on his blessings and his glory. I'm excited to see what this new year will bring as I long to seek him more and study his word. I'm hungry to learn all I can and be used fully, completely, intentionally. I know what He's saying to me...

Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants
— Deuteronomy 32:2
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.
— 1 Peter 1:3-4a