For the Love of My Birthmom {Cassie's Story}

We have such a great line up of beautiful stories and words of love by and for birthmoms this month.  Today we are sharing words written by one adoptive mom, Cassie, for their birthmom.   Like Cassie, we also work very hard to remove the labels and judgments of these women who did not "give up" their babies.  Please join us in welcoming Cassie to Our Not So Engineered Life today.  Thank you for sharing your heart and for joining us in celebrating these amazing women.

I'm sure she wasn't expecting to be pregnant at 16, carrying a child inside her while she was a child herself. And after she birthed him and was told of his diagnosis- cystic fibrosis- who can blame her for feeling her world was falling apart? She returned to the same chaotic lifestyle and 2 days after becoming a legal adult, and 4 days after her first son turned a year old, my little boy came into this world, perfectly healthy.

People have have a lot of opinions about this girl who "gave away" her baby and their rudeness and judgmental attitudes are thinly veiled through questions. Why did she do it? How could she do it? Is she on drugs? What about the father? Doesn't she know how this happens? And with each passing question, disbelieving shake of the head and snarky comment I feel my pulse quickening and my heart beating faster. I try to breathe deep, remembering they are truly asking because they are ignorant of who and what she is to me. They cannot, even for a moment, fathom what would cause her to forsake her responsibility of motherhood. 

But do you know what I see? I see a broken and scared little girl whose childhood wasn't a Disney Channel original, but rather a two-hour Lifetime Original movie.  I see a young girl who wanted more for her life than government assistance and no high school diploma. I see a mother who looked at her life and circumstances with her first child and made a conscious decision that she could not raise another child by herself and still accomplish all the things she wanted for her children and herself.

Because of this we are FIERCELY protective of her and refuse to allow people to assume of her motives or tarnish the beauty of the gift she gave us.  In order to keep the conversation open about adoption and all the glories and pitfalls it entails we take deep breaths when we want to scream and try to help others see the beauty that has risen from the ashes. We point towards our fireball of energy and ask them to see the child she made an adoption plan for when an abortion could have been scheduled. We encourage them to think about all the things they would sacrifice for their children's well being and ask them to contemplate the situation she was in. A place where she believed it best that another lady would forever be called Mom by the child she carried, loved and protected for almost a year. We stand in the center of adoption unknowns teaching others so they will look at her and see her for what she, and all the other birthmoms really are: courageous, loving, self-sacrificing, and selfless. 


What a better way to celebrate love in February than to feature some women we love and admire so much... Birth Moms! We had the privilege of spotlighting some truly amazing women whose stories have truly had an impact on our lives in great ways!