I Found Jesus at the Dentist

Now before you get too excited and start to think I had my salvation experience at the dentist – I did not.  That happened eons ago (to my child) when I was probably around his age and now I’m landsliding into forty.  You do the math.  I cannot because I don’t know “new math.”  And I’m still using my old Texas Instruments calculator from engineering school and unsure that it can be trusted anymore.  I’m totally digressing.  Circle the wagons, Jen, circle the wagons. I didn’t literally find Jesus at the dentist yesterday.  I didn’t even see the old oil paintings of him like many of our grandparents have in their homes depicting what we believe him to look like.  Although it is a Christian office and they do play Christian music.  I think that’s just some tom foolery they have to put you at ease before they break out the demonic drill Roto Rootering to your brain. 

As I lay back in the chair yesterday and the hygienist was cleaning my teeth, I had some sort of revelation about how going to the dentist is a lot like reading the Bible and having a relationship with Jesus.  Before I go further – no, I did not have laughing gas, shots, or any other hallucinogens.  I know you are thinking I’m about to stretch this thing further than Elastigirl from the Incredibles.  But bear with me here.  If nothing else, maybe if you loathe dentist offices as much as the greater population of America then it will give you something positive to think about the next time you go.  Or you can think about how completely off the wall my brain can be and pray for my family that has to put up with me on a daily basis – bless their hearts.

First of all let me say this and then I can move forward with the Jesus talk.  Does your dentist give you sunglasses to wear while they are torturing you?  Mine does and they are the huge eye doctor sunglasses that my grandmother wears on a daily basis.  I must say that we joke about those suckers, but they are super comfy.  I can see why the greater geriatric population loves them so much.  I mean style is no longer a priority when you cross a certain threshold – it’s all about comfort.  Glory days are coming my friends!  My daily regime of yoga pants clearly shows that I’m wildly approaching those days too.

Back to Jesus.  You are totally going to want to balk at my analogy here, but if nothing else it will be obvious that He can literally be seen anywhere when we are just willing to seek Him.  As I lay there with my geriatric sunglasses and yoga pants on I had nothing to do but get inside my own head for a while as the hygienist cleaned my teeth.  (Besides laying there looking like a complete buffoon).  Mainly I think it all stemmed from who ever thought this was a good idea to have to come here twice a year and have your mouth go through a miniature car wash.  That led to its prevention from cavities and sulking over that for a bit.  And also how bright the light is because I have to wear the big-as-your-face sunglasses and Jesus could reach His hand out of it at any moment saying “step into the light.”  See how completely random my brain is?  It’s like having Mexican jumping beans firing off every second in my head. 

The part I hate most about having my teeth cleaned is the metal scraping stick that makes your gums plead for death.  It’s the prison shank.  Not only that, but the whole sound and feel combo is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  My skin literally feels like its crawling.  Here’s where I zone out and hence this masterpiece post was born (insert sarcasm – the sixth love language). Aside from all that, it’s necessary to get the build up of gunk out.  I know it’s a really gross thing to think about but so is our sin.  We have layers and layers of sin built up in our life just like that.  It’s ugly and it causes holes in our heart and soul when we don’t get rid of it.  And the only way to do that is to scrape it away little by little with the tools Jesus has given us – prayer, repentance, and His Word. 

I’ve gone nearly forty years without a single cavity and all of a sudden I’m starting to have some issues.  I really got so irritated about the whole thing, but mainly at myself because I know that lately I’ve neglected areas that help keep my teeth healthier like flossing and rinsing with fluoride.  And when the dentist asks if we are doing those things, please don’t tell me I’m the only one that stretches the truth – ok pretty much lies – about it.  As if he can’t tell.  I’m not fooling him yet I feel the need to shift blame off of myself.  Isn’t that so what we do with God?  We know what we are supposed to be doing every single day to keep our souls healthy, and then when He convicts us about it, we tend to blame so many other things like busyness, schedules, and just being plain tired.  Or we completely lie to God, as if He isn’t all knowing.  We aren’t fooling Him either friends.  He knows every single thing about us, every thought, every intention – good and bad. 

If we want to have an abundant life – free of life’s cavities – we must confess, repent, and live a life of intention.  We must put on the full armor of God each day.  We must be on the offense by having a personal relationship with Jesus and fellowshipping with Him each day.  We have to use our holy floss and rinse to keep those sins – that ugly, nasty gunk – from building up in our lives before it bores soul eating bacteria into our core.