The Hand I Held, Now The Hands I Hold

The day we met were both more nervous than the other knew.  She was meeting us for the first time after deciding we would be the ones to raise the life inside of her.  We were meeting her for the first time with eager anticipation to get to know her, show her love, and welcome her to our family.  When the door opened and she walked in she glowed like an angel with the brightest eyes and most striking smile. There was an instant connection between us, and all the nervousness faded away. God placed her in our lives with such perfect timing and planning, just as she later placed our son in my arms the day he was born.  An angel indeed – loving, selfless, courageous.

As we got to know one another more, she asked me to join her for childbirth classes.  It was a bit awkward for each of us, yet how honored I was that she chose me to be the one to join her.  She had no idea how much that meant to me.  And then to ask me to be in the room to help deliver our baby boy – a request that gave me what my body couldn’t do on its own. 

Even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
— Psalm 139:10

The day our son was born was the most glorious, yet emotional days of my life.  And as she asked, and I wanted more than anything, I was in the room for delivery.  I held her hand as she pushed and brought our son (mine and hers) into this world.  Tears streamed – tears of joy for seeing our son for the first time after many years of longing and tears of pain for what I knew she was feeling.  He is her son – she carried him in her womb and gave him life.  And he is my son – placed into my arms with selfless love to be the one he calls mommy. 

Her hand, the hand I held on his birthday, became the hand that I forever hold as we both watch him grow into the man God created him to be through a wonderful open adoption.  That hand also gave me the tiny hands that are growing way too fast.  The hands I hold to cross the street right now will one day become the hands of God fulfilling his purpose in life as a grown man.