Yesterday we shared with you beautiful words from both a birthmother and a birthfather. They have such a unique and special relationship with the Jerde Family. Today we are sharing with you a message from Kim, the adoptive mom, of this amazing birthmother and birthfather's daughter. What a treat to be able to share so much love from one family. They are such an example of a healthy open adoption. Not only do these two women love their daughter equally as much, but they are true friends as well. Thank you Kim for sharing your heart with us, your love of your birthmom and birthfather, and welcome back to the blog today. May God continue to bless you and your family as you seek to adopt again.
My hubby John and I have been married for 14.5 years, I love him so much! It has been the best time of my life. We were sooooo young and in love when we got married, we could not wait to start a family together. All I ever dreamed of was being a mom. We started trying after 6 months of marriage(yes crazy I know), but I really wanted to be a mom. Fast Forward…infertility, drugs, tests, procedures etc. Nothing working…..so we checked into adoption. At first we were VERY hesitant about having an open adoption……we were still in the figuring it all out STAGE. We had just started our paperwork to adopt, when Melanie’s family reached out to us. Melanie is 10 years younger than me and a cousin. We didn’t really grow up together but knew each other.
We actually turned them down SEVERAL times and told them no (even gave them names of other couples). They kept asking and felt like it was right. John and I agreed to fast and pray for a couple of weeks while they were gone on vacation. I went through the motions of “saying” I prayed but my heart was not really in it, after all, I know what is best right? Nope, I guess I don’t. The Lord had other plans…..When I finally humbled myself enough to pray and then listen we received a very powerful confirmation that this daughter was supposed to come to our family…. Wow, okay how do we do this…..? Well we met with Mel and talked everything through just like you would any expecting mom and I just knew this was right. That this would propel us into the most amazing adventure!
Well it has been adventure. There have been ups and downs and lots of people trying to put in their “2 cents”. Once Mel and I told everyone to back off and let us be, we were able to actually build the MOST AMAZING relationship. I remember in the first years, I felt like I had another daughter or younger sister that I was helping and loving and building this amazing friendship with. As the years have gone by this woman has become one of my best friends. She has taught me so much about love and sacrifice. The deeper our friendship has grown the more we were able to share and confide in one another about our adoption experiences. We shared more about what it was like for each of us: the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing! I have come to rely on this amazing woman.
Last year we were approached by a single expectant mom, she was making an adoption plan for her child. She expressed her desire to place with us. Melanie helped me so much through this process….she was there for us and gave us so much advice. In the end, after she was discharged from the hospital this girl chose to parent. We were heartbroken for us but KNEW that she made the right choice for her. We felt peace with the outcome even though our hearts were breaking…and we would not be bringing home a little angel. Mel was there with us through it all, she traveled with us and entertained Brooklyn for us, took care of her, and when needed took care of us. Going through this together only deepened our love for each other. I can’t imagine my life now without her friendship, she is like a sister me.
Some people say we are only this close because we knew each other before. Not true. We had to start over and build something out of what we now were to each other…..mommy’s to the same little girl, just with different roles to fulfill. My closeness with her helped me to see both sides of adoption that most don’t experience…..I know that is the same for her. I have been able to understand more than I would have because I experienced my joy, but being related to her family I also saw some of the really hard times.
This woman is one of the strongest most amazing women I have ever met. Her love and selflessness is never ending. I am blessed she is a part of our family. I am blessed that she is the birth mom of my daughter and that we both get to love her and watch her grow up. I am honored that she CHOSE me to be her daughter’s mom. What more humbling experience can we even go through here in this life? I’m not sure there is one that compares. To the woman that made me a mother first, I love you forever.
We are also blessed to have Brooklyn’s birth father Jason and his family in our lives. What a blessing and what a wonderful family. Jason moved away to school and we didn’t get to see him as much but stayed in touch and he called on Brooklyn’s birthday. Even when he was away we were able to spend time with his family periodically. He graduated and moved back last year and it has been so fun to have him play a bigger part in our lives. He is very musically talented and has such a passion for music. He is teaching Brooklyn to play the piano. It is one of her favorite days of the week when Jason comes for lessons. She is always so excited to show him how hard she has worked. I love that she has this wonderful person to love her and help her and teach her. I am grateful that he has taken the time to show Brooklyn that he cares and takes the time to really focus on her when he is with us. It has been fun to witness their relationship grow and evolve this past year. When we visit his house she just wants to play games with him and he jumps right in and lets her lead the way. What a beautiful experience to watch develop, I am excited for what the future holds. Thank you Jason for joining our family and taking part in our lives, and caring enough to make time for us.
What a better way to celebrate love in February than to feature some women we love and admire so much... Birth Moms! We had the privilege of spotlighting some truly amazing women whose stories have truly had an impact on our lives in great ways!