The Decision: Grateful for Big Tough Girls {Part 2}

In honor of National Adoption Month, I am sharing with you all another Big Tough Girl, Sarah.  I came to know her through our friend, Ashley Mitchell, and have grown to love her so much. I love her honest heart and transparency, her fun spirit, and for the hard decisions she has made that transformed her life.  Sarah is a birth mom, is an integral part of the Big Tough Girl community, a huge adoption advocate, and an awesome new friend.  She and Ashley have worked very hard to form a huge support system for other women who found themselves in the same situation.  Many may judge birth moms, but few will ever understand what they have gone through and the heart changes that take place.  If not for them, women like me would not ever have the chance to be mommies.  I'm grateful for Sarah, our new friendship, and what she stands for.  I'm eternally grateful for the choices that these beautiful, strong women make.  And I'm especially grateful for our own birth mom.  

I made my decision pretty early on. At first, before God stepped in & revealed the truth, I thought my only option was abortion. You see, this generational curse of pregnancy before marriage has plagued my family a long time. I felt so much shame having fallen privy to the exact situation I swore I’d never find myself in. I don’t necessarily believe I would have been able to go through with the abortion & if I had, the guilt probably would have killed me, but God had other plans for her. when I weighed out all my choices, parenting meant she’d go without, she wouldn’t have the best life she could or the opportunities she deserved: she deserved better. Abortion meant not even giving her the opportunity to become who she was meant to be: she deserved life. Adoption meant that she would be well taken care of, have everything she needed, never have to worry where a meal or clothing or medical treatment or fatherly love was coming from: she deserved a family. With him, the answer was obvious at first: adoption! But financial circumstances at first disabled them from being able to adopt him too so I decided on parenting, all the while knowing that he deserved better than that, better than broken, angry, self hatred me. God had other plans for him though too. After some financial miracles his parents were able to adopt him as well. It was not an easy choice in either circumstance, but ultimately it was truly exactly the decision meant to flourish their lives in the most amazing ways possible. I’m eternally grateful for both of those decisions: for choosing life & for choosing adoption.
— Sarah

On behalf of all adoptive moms, I want to thank Sarah for making the hard decision - adoption.  Many think this is an easy out for these women and nothing could be further from the truth.  They go through just as many hard emotions in those few short months (and even years beyond) as those of us who have faced infertility or some other pain.  I'm so thankful for these women.  I'm thankful that they chose life.  I'm thankful that my infertility opened my heart to them and allowed me to become friends with some of the bravest women I know - women that my otherwise my path would not have crossed.

Thank you Sarah for allowing me to share your words on our blog today.  I love you and love being hand in hand with you Big Tough Girls.


A series for people who are grateful for infertility?  Sounds crazy right! But it's not... what was once a phase of life marked by heartache and longing, has now become the scars that make us beautiful. Some of you reading this are right in the middle of your wait, are facing an unclear future or have been scarred by infertility. You may be struggling with how you could possibly be grateful for infertility. It took us a long time to get there ourselves. This is one of those areas where sometimes our faith has to guide us while our hearts and heads catch up. We have to practice thankfulness, even when it makes little sense, while God does His divine work on our souls.