While having coffee this morning with a good friend, we were discussing some of the challenges and the evolution of our life as women as we have transitioned from career women into stay at home mommies. Though we are incredibly grateful for the lives we now live, we both struggle with our fair-share of “those moments” that make us second guess everything.
There are those moments when you find your house perpetually dirty, you’re tired, your child wakes up too early from an already short nap ready to be entertained again... and you still have to mop, cook dinner and put on your happy face to welcome your hard-working husband home. There are those moments when you see an adorably cute pair of shoes, or you want to actually have a meal – not just coffee – with a friend, or you don’t want to have to chose between new clothes for yourself or your child (we all know your child’s attire will always win over mommy’s). There are those moments when you realize that your life has evolved from a state of being incredibly independent, career driven, and self-sufficient to a state of continual and never-ending self-sacrifice, dependent on your husband, and defining “success” by the amount of food that is stuck (or not stuck) to you at the end of the day.
Then there are those moments when you look at your husband, your child and your friends and you realize, you are evolving into the role God intended for you to live – a life that is not about “me.” That has been a tough lesson for me but I’m learning it is also one that brings the most joy. It’s a life where those I love will always come first and where I will truly learn what it means to be selfless and to serve others. As I write this, I realize it’s an evolution into the Godly wife that is described in Proverbs 31:10-31. Does that mean it’s easy? Oh my goodness, no! But it’s a lesson that I’m incredibly grateful to be learning. It’s a lesson that will make me into an even better mother and wife, and a much more influential part of God’s plan. And it’s a lesson that I don’t have to struggle to learn alone. God has given me the incredible blessing of friendship and a truly wonderful small group to help me through “those moments.” He’s teaching me a whole new meaning of Philippians 1:3-11. When I think of these dear friends, I think of them in this way that Paul wrote about. I want to help and encourage them as they become more Godly women and know they want the same for me. God has given me friends that I can be honest with about my failures, insecurities and selfish desires and I’m grateful to know that they will work through them with me. Knowing I have prayerful, faith driven friends, is a gift like no other. So when I’m having “those moments,” and I ask myself, “would I rather be back in a good paying job where I don’t have much time for my child or husband but can afford the lunches and shoes?” it seems like a pretty silly question. Hands-down, no! I’d rather have the free play dates and cheap lunches in the old t-shirts and shorts. I’d rather sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee while watching my little girl play with the precious child of a sweet friend. Laundry, dirty floors, snotty noses and all, I never want to give this up... I just want to be able to remember that during “those moments”.