Dealing with "Those" Moments

While having coffee this morning with a good friend, we were discussing some of the challenges and the evolution of our life as women as we have transitioned from career women into stay at home mommies.  Though we are incredibly grateful for the lives we now live, we both struggle with our fair-share of “those moments” that make us second guess everything.

There are those moments when you find your house perpetually dirty, you’re tired, your child wakes up too early from an already short nap ready to be entertained again... and you still have to mop, cook dinner and put on your happy face to welcome your hard-working husband home.  There are those moments when you see an adorably cute pair of shoes, or you want to actually have a meal – not just coffee – with a friend, or you don’t want to have to chose between new clothes for yourself or your child (we all know your child’s attire will always win over mommy’s).  There are those moments when you realize that your life has evolved from a state of being incredibly independent, career driven, and self-sufficient to a state of continual and never-ending self-sacrifice, dependent on your husband, and defining “success” by the amount of food that is stuck (or not stuck) to you at the end of the day. 

Then there are those moments when you look at your husband, your child and your friends and you realize, you are evolving into the role God intended for you to live – a life that is not about “me.”  That has been a tough lesson for me but I’m learning it is also one that brings the most joy.  It’s a life where those I love will always come first and where I will truly learn what it means to be selfless and to serve others.  As I write this, I realize it’s an evolution into the Godly wife that is described in Proverbs 31:10-31.  Does that mean it’s easy?  Oh my goodness, no!  But it’s a lesson that I’m incredibly grateful to be learning.  It’s a lesson that will make me into an even better mother and wife, and a much more influential part of God’s plan.  And it’s a lesson that I don’t have to struggle to learn alone.  God has given me the incredible blessing of friendship and a truly wonderful small group to help me through “those moments.”  He’s teaching me a whole new meaning of Philippians 1:3-11.  When I think of these dear friends, I think of them in this way that Paul wrote about.  I want to help and encourage them as they become more Godly women and know they want the same for me.  God has given me friends that I can be honest with about my failures, insecurities and selfish desires and I’m grateful to know that they will work through them with me.  Knowing I have prayerful, faith driven friends, is a gift like no other.  So when I’m having “those moments,” and I ask myself, “would I rather be back in a good paying job where I don’t have much time for my child or husband but can afford the lunches and shoes?” it seems like a pretty silly question.  Hands-down, no! I’d rather have the free play dates and cheap lunches in the old t-shirts and shorts.  I’d rather sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee while watching my little girl play with the precious child of a sweet friend.  Laundry, dirty floors, snotty noses and all, I never want to give this up...  I just want to be able to remember that during “those moments”.

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
— Philippians 1:3-11
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
— Proverbs 31:10-31