I knew motherhood was going to be exciting, challenging, a commitment like no other. I knew, especially after working so hard and waiting so long to bring her into our family, I would love her immensely. But I had no idea just how deeply I was going to care for this sweet girl that I get to call mine. That saying is true... "The days are long but the years are short." It seems like lately we are just holding on for the ride of our lives as we raise this little angel.
She's growing up so quickly... too quickly almost. Every day seems to spin faster than the one before. She's learning new skills, new emotions, reaching new potential faster than either one of us can keep up with at times. Her imagination is developing in leaps and bounds, bringing with it hours of dress-up and pretend play during the day and the occasional bad dream at night. She's making new friends at school, her own little friends made independently of us mommies. (Praise the Lord they are absolutely precious little friends!) She now asks for me to wait in the car line to pick her up from preschool because that is "what the big kids mommies do" and she wants to be like them. This independent streak in her is fierce, and I love it. It's a trait that will serve her well as she grows into the woman God has designed for her to be.
Just a couple short months ago it seems I was rocking and nursing her to sleep every night before gently tucking her into bed. Now she's a professional at the bedtime routine and loves picking out her own books for me to read before we snuggle in for a story or two in her big girl bed. In the last couple months we've given up both nap-time and her paci because she's "a big girl now." I am soaking up every single second of the bedtime snuggles now because I am realizing just how quickly they too will change. I am so proud of her as I watch her grow from a baby and toddler into a beautiful little girl. It's happening right before our eyes. I love to hear her tell stories of how she stood up for the sweet friend that was getting picked on at school, or how they stood up for her. We treasure and laugh at just how innocent she is as she tell stories of shock and horror about how some little boy pulled her friend's shirt at school or didn't share the train and "that is just not nice." I know the world will get tough soon enough, but I pray she never completely loses this innocence and sweetness. My heart swells as I see her run to the car in the afternoons with so much excitement to tell me what she learned and did at school. I adore how comfortable she is on her own but how she also wants to tell me about every second of what she did today, all by herself. I love watching her grow.
She is such an amazing little girl and I am so blessed and humbled that I get to care for her. She's growing up much too quickly for me, but at just the right pace for her. But while she's ours to raise, I want nothing more than to care for her how she deserves and how God has called me to do. I want her to never doubt for a second just how special God made her and how much she is loved by her heavenly Father and her Mommy and Daddy. The day is summed up each night as I tuck her in, gently kiss her sweet face and whisper "I'm so glad God gave you to me" and she whispers back "I'm so glad God gave me to you too Mommy." There is nothing more precious than getting to be her mother. In that sweet, still moment, just before she closes her eyes, all the fusses and pouts and battles of will that happened in between all the giggles and smiles and games are wiped away. Only one thing matters in that moment. God gave us to each other, all three of us - to love, to care, to protect, to guide. I had no idea I was capable of caring this much. It is worth everything.